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Eat one live toad first thing in the morning - then nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
It’s bad when your fight ends in surrender, unless it’s with a vending machine.
The one who laughs last is the slowest thinking.
1. If the audience bites at the beginning of a joke, they will bite at its salt.
2. It is impossible to insert more than three Hochmas into one beginning.
the best performer in your category will perform directly in front of you.
The probability of winning the lottery slightly increases if you buy yourself a lottery ticket.
The tallest person in the audience will sit right in front of you, and only after it is too late for you to look for another place.
If in the first act there is a gun hanging on the wall, then in the last act it should fire.
The fact that you fell does not matter if you were able to grab something of value from the floor while getting up.
Immediately after you manage to make ends meet, some part of your income is making ends meet.
The more you like a certain dish, the more harmful it is for you.
Each recipe includes one item that you don't have in your home.
If this product is required for this dish, then it will not be in your grocery store either.
Anything cooked in the oven will be either overcooked or undercooked.
Anything cooked in the microwave will be both overcooked and undercooked at the same time.
Never step into anything soft.
For humanity, the discovery of a new dish is much more useful than the discovery of a new star.
When you have a mouthful of food, never say "cool!"
Insanity is inherited; you, for example, got hold of it from your children.
Lomaka, who climbs everywhere, is any child who is more talented than yours.
1. Do it yourself.
2. Hire someone to do it for you.
3. Forbid your children to do this.
Children are unpredictable. You never know what kind of inconsistency they will catch you next time.
For those shirts that are sold with extra buttons, the buttons are never lost.
Children make a particularly loud noise as soon as you answer the phone.
The worse the telephone connection, the louder the children scream.
Never stand between a dog and a hydrant.
When you try to open a locked door with your only free hand, the key always ends up in the opposite pocket.
If you think you left it on, and come back to check, it will be off; if you think you could have left it on and don't come back to check, it will be on.
A lost sock is only re-discovered after a pair has been thrown away.
The chances of a sudden downpour are directly proportional to the amount of suede you wear.
The only time the big world knocks on your door, you find yourself lying in the bathtub.
A roof leak never occurs in the same spot where it drips onto the floor.
If there are really many keys hanging on your ring, there will always be one that does not open anything.
The first time you pull the cord, the curtains will move in the wrong direction.
The last piece of gift wrapping you have left will be fifteen centimeters shorter than the last remaining gift to wrap.
The lightest fabric attracts the darkest spot.
If you don't throw it, you can't get into it.
How bad a musical is can be judged by how often the chorus shouts out "Hurray!"
Trying to catch a falling brittle object can do more damage than if it just fell.
1. If you want to stand in a small queue, it immediately becomes large.
2. If you are waiting in a long line, people behind you suddenly arrange another, short one.
3. If you suddenly leave a short line for a second, it will become long.
4. If you are standing in a short line, people in front of you will let relatives and friends into the line, and the line becomes long.
5. The short queue outside the store becomes long inside the store.
6. If you stand in one place for a long time, then create a queue.
You remember that you need to leave the letter, then, when there is no mailbox nearby.
1. Love letters, business contracts and money always arrive three weeks late.
2. Trivia mail arrives on the day it is sent.
Among the people who occupy a key position in society, you will always find along the genealogical line some John Smith from London.
When you put coins in the machine, pennies may fall somewhere nearby, but all other coins disappear without a trace.
The wind speed increases in direct proportion to the cost of the hairstyle.