Murphy's Laws of Dating

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Major health factor

Who goes to bed early and gets up early, that, therefore, the guy is missing.

(This is a translation of the well-known English proverb “He who goes to bed early and gets up early will gain health, wealth and intelligence.” In Russian they say almost the same: “He who gets up early, God gives him.”)

Dating Announcements

Every man who advertises himself in a dating column is attractive, thin, athletic, sexy, and subtle. It is the same with every woman. Then why do they advertise themselves in such columns?

In the fall, not only chickens are counted

Don't count your dates before they happen.

Date distribution law

1. The more dates you have, the more dates you will schedule.

2. The fewer dates you have, the fewer dates you have.


The best way to make a date is to go out on a date.

Reward for virtue

Virtue needs no reward — it is a reward in itself. You can enjoy it at home, alone, on Saturday night.

Anairin Bevan's Creed

(Bevan Anairin (1897-1960) - British politician who, during his time as Minister of Health (1945-1951), was the main architect of the nationwide health service. He was a picturesque figure and a brilliant polemicist, had great personal charm, but sometimes he roughly that W. Churchill once called him "a shopkeeper who sells impoliteness".)

Virtue does not need condemnation - it is a punishment in itself.

Quentin Crisp's point of view

(Crisp Quentin (1908-1999) - British humorist. Here are a couple of examples from his 1984 book: "A gentleman does not attack ... he acts stealthily and quietly. If a woman is settled in such a way that you can sit next to her, you are free to take this as an invitation, although not very intrusive. "and" Life was a wonderful thing that I got on the way to the grave. ")

Vice does not need a reward - it is a reward in itself.

The first law of dating

There is always another person involved in a date who is incompatible with you.

Movie madness

1. The picture that you want to see, he cannot bear.

2. The picture that you want to see him, you are not able to endure.

3. The only movie you both like, you've both seen.

Normal effect

1. The older you get, the louder your biological clock ticks.

2. The louder your biological clock ticks, the stronger your despair becomes.

3. The stronger your despair becomes, the harder it is for you to find a man.

Saturday night mental discord

If you don't have a date on Saturday night, you can't stand it. When it finally appears, you cannot wait for it to end.

The opposite effect

Opposites attract ... to problems.

Purpose of tights

The tights are designed to come apart immediately after you leave the house for a date.

Lifetime warranty

Everyone is guaranteed a date with two dates ... on a tombstone.

Chemistry lesson

It is useful to study at school. For example, chemistry wonderfully explains why caustic words always make you blush, and sour words turn blue.

Bar conversation

Do not talk to anyone in the bar who asks:

1. "Why does it seem to me that I know you from somewhere?"

2. "What is a sweet girl like you doing in such a dubious place?"

3. "Do you come here often?"

4. "Tell me, is your name Angela?"

5. "What do you do?"

6. "Where do you live?"

7. "Is this your place or mine?"

How to find out who is "gay"?

1. He's cute.

2. He is intelligent.

3. He is kind.

4. He is empathetic.

5. He is cultured.

6. He has good manners.

7. He is well dressed.

8. He doesn't try to drag you into bed on the first date.

Goat in the garden

If there is one goat in a room full of nice men, then you will be the first one he butts.

Date with a stranger

What to expect on a date with a stranger:

1. He will appear either too early or too late.

2. His taste in clothes does not go into any gate.

3. You don't like any of the films he mentions.

4. He doesn't like any of your favorite restaurants.

5. You are unable to think of anything to say or do.

6. The only topics he talks about are sports and sex.

Guidelines for glasses

Don't wear glasses when you're dating a stranger. And it will look better, and so will you.

Wimp symptoms

A man is probably a weakling if:

1. He is not able to quickly deal with the fastening on your bra.

2. He sleeps in his underwear and pajamas.

3. He never climbs to kiss after the first date.

4. He considers preliminary erotic play boring.

5. Making love, he stays in his socks.

6. He believes that the person who reaches orgasm first "wins" in sex.

Smart woman / stupid choice syndrome

The higher the intellect of a woman, the more stupid she chooses romantic partners.

Fishing forecast

They say that nowadays there is a lot of excellent fish and a wonderful bite. But who wants to go fishing for fish?

Cheap date

For some "big spenders," the phrase "have dinner somewhere in town" means a giggle in your home.

Essential little things

Don't agree to a dinner date with a man if:

1. He chews with his mouth open.

2. He speaks or laughs with food in his mouth.

3. He eats with his hands or licks his fingers after a tasty meal.

4. He rakes the food in handfuls and throws it into his mouth.

5. He believes that burping is the best way to demonstrate how full and satisfied he is with dinner.

Watch the video: Róisín Murphy - Murphys Law Cosmodelica Remix Live @ Home

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